I suck at dating. I really, really do. I am a GREAT girlfriend (I have references) but I am terrible at dating. My mind kicks into overdrive, I over think EVERYTHING and end up talking myself out of things or the crazy lady that lives in my head shows up and scares off the person I am seeing.
As most of you know, I swore off dating in the ballooning community. After 2 failed relationships and the pure joy that is getting to see my ex-boyfriends at least twice a month, I decided to branch out and put myself out there. At my cousin’s urging, I signed up for Match.com.
I did the thing. I spent time on my profile and had various people take a look at it and give me constructive feedback. I was honest about what I wanted and the type of man I wanted to date. I set parameters for myself, the main on being this: Currently Separated is STILL MARRIED. After an incident last fall that opened my eyes, this was non negotiable. (See Lessons Learned Number 8) Another was this: If they were there looking for sex, I moved along. And reported them. It’s against the rules.
So I sent the required number of emails or winks, made sure I had great photos, had an updated profile and even a recommendation from my cousin. (It’s awesome and I will post it at the end of this post.) I responded to emails, sent winks back and interacted with almost everyone who contacted me. There was a lot of weeding out in the initial stages, but I eventually went out with three men. One lived with his parents because he didn’t want to pay the VERY reasonable rent his grandparents were going to charge him (but he was driving a brand new Camaro with all the bells and whistles). One was an attorney who, after 2 really good dates, dropped off the face of the planet. And one made it through all the emails and the first few dates and seems to not be phased by the crazy lay in my head. I supposed I should come up with a name for him … He will probably be making some appearances here. Let’s see … Sven.
Sven is decidedly different from pretty much every man I have ever dated. He is under 6 feet tall, is a metalhead and of Nordic descent. He loves Vikings and horror films, cares nothing for football, loves hockey and isn’t into ballooning at all. He does have a love of Star Wars that rivals mine, but (everyone has a flaw) is on the Empire side. Princess Leia was NOT of the Imperial persuasion.
But, Sven is … awesome. He is kind and handsome. I haven’t touched a door since we have been dating and he hasn’t balked at meeting my friends. In fact, he came up with the idea of our second date being at a AAAA happy hour. I must be more charming than I realize for him to throw himself into a happy hour on the second date! He likes my cooking and spends hours giving belly rubs to the Beagle Brigade. He has gotten me hooked on Game of Thrones and tells me when the parts that are going to bother me are coming up. Then he makes sure my eyes are covered so I don’t see the horses getting killed or the gruesome beheadings. He asks about my day and genuinely wants to hear about it. When I have a bad day he actively tries to cheer me up. He jokes around and teases me but never takes it far enough to be snarky or for it to hit too close to home.
So we have been dating now for a month or so and have decided to become exclusive. Not full-blown relationship, but not seeing other people or actively trying to meet anyone else. When I asked him what we should do with our Match profiles, he looked me right in the eye and said, “I deactivated it. I met you.”
How sweet is that?
So, here I am. Dating. And doing it differently than I ever have before. It seems to be working.
Want to know what my Match Profile looked like? Here you go:
Much like everyone on here I hate to have to talk about myself. I can talk to anyone about almost anything, but I hate having to sit down and think of witty and interesting things to say about myself. I am fun, funny and love to laugh. I laugh at almost anything, so you are guaranteed to feel like the funniest guy around when you are around me. I am friendly and will talk to almost anyone. I have been told I have a pretty and infectious smile and I can be annoyingly perky! I am adventurous and will try anything three times.
I work hard so I can play hard. I have a couple of adrenaline-infused hobbies, but I also like quiet evenings at home. I love to read and will read almost anything if it comes with a good recommendation. I have read everything from biographies of our nation’s presidents to the trashy romance novel you only read when there is nothing else to read. I love to travel. A road trip up to Taos or jumping on a plane, I am game for it. I am also a planner which can make being spontaneous a little bit of a problem, but I can usually be convinced to pick up and go! I love to try new restaurants — I try to stay away from a lot of chains. I believe my money should stay where I live!!! I love locally brewed beers and craft beers in general, I also like wine but at heart, I am a whiskey kind of girl. I love to bake and am a certifiable Star Wars geek … Han shot first.
Well, I am sure you are tired of hearing about me. Let’s talk about you! I am looking for … Han Solo. (I am only partly kidding.) Someone who is comfortable with a strong assertive woman, but who also knows when she just needs to held. Someone who will challenge me, but knows there is a line between challenging and being a jerk. A man who can let me be the perky, sparkly center of attention but knows when to put his foot down. Someone who isn’t afraid to try new things and likes adventure just as much as a night in. I am not looking for someone to complete my life, but someone to compliment it. Someone to walk with me … not in front of me. (Do you know who Dave Ramsey is? AWESOME … Let’s budget for our first date.)
Last thing? Must love dogs.
And now … a word from the person who convinced me to sign up for Match! Hi there! This is Jen. I am BeagleKeeper’s cousin who is in a lot of the pictures with her. First off I want to say she is one of the strongest people I know. She has a way of facing adversity and an inner strength that is quite remarkable. She has a tough exterior but will let her guard down once she trusts you. Behind that tough exterior is one of the kindest people I know. She has a huge heart that she is ready and willing to share. She always knows what to do or say when you’re having a tough time and can generally make you laugh until your belly hurts. She will also be there unconditionally for those who are her friends or partners. If this is the type of girl you are looking for I think she fits the bill. If you want to start a conversation with her you can always ask her about our tow truck adventures. At the same time as being incredibly supportive, she will absolutely call you on your BS. Not in a mean way, but she is not going to let you get away with it without a conversation. That can be a great thing because sometimes we need to be called on our own BS. She did a great job in helping me realize what was important to me and what ideas that I needed to let go. I believe that the type of guy she needs is self- assured (not cocky), independent, giving, active, not afraid of heights, willing to let her shine, intelligent, funny, and thoughtful. Another trait that may be good for her is someone who could go with the flow a little bit. She is a planner/organizer and I think someone who can push her to be a little more spontaneous is a good thing. Plus, she is a lot of fun to be around. Any situation, even a pretty bad one, can turn into a fun memorable experience.”
Oh, and in case you are wondering, I hid my profile too. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?